It all comes down to sensitivity and the Four Agreements.

The last two days have been a little slow, and I'm grateful for that. The last three weeks have been jam packed with onethingafteranother and while that's all been totally more than worth it, it's nice to be able to breathe a little bit. Especially since we're jumping back into activities at 8 tomorrow morning, joy of joys.

I spent a good deal of time yesterday just laying in bed reading, and it was so nice. I've vowed not to read any English books until I get home, but I'm quite engrossed in my current novel, which is one I've already read in English that's been translated into French. I love the feeling of getting lost in a book for a few hours because it's so good, but I love that feeling even more when it's in another language!

I had two successful transactions today, at the post office and at MacDo, where English never came into the picture. Sweet!

I'm starting to notice more of the cultural differences between my host mom and I, and the ways in which they present themselves. There are some things that are really nice - that we can both be at home all afternoon and not feel the need to make small talk. I'm awful at small talk. But some things can be difficult and I have to remind myself not to take things personally.

Last night I was clearing the table and she commented that she guessed I probably had never helped my mom clear the table when I was younger. I replied that of course I had, and she said I didn't seem to know what I was doing. I am well aware that I don't know what I'm doing, but that's because I'm in a random French woman's house and don't want to mess anything up, not because I never did chores when I was little!

A somewhat similar situation came up when we were talking about travel, or something, and she asked if my parents had given me a lot of money for this trip. She seemed really shocked when I told her I had worked a lot all year to save up my own money, and for a second I found myself getting offended that she would assume that I hadn't earned the money myself.

Between these two instances, it seems to me that the real misunderstanding is that of the difference in work ethic between Americans and the French, and that's why I'm training myself not to let things like this get to me. In the culture in which I've been raised, a person's job is very important. People are proud of their work, and they are proud of how hard they work. The first question people ask you when they meet you is, "What do you do?" For me, to hear my French mom comment on me not working to help my mom when I was younger, or to have her assuming that my parents pay for everything, that says, "You're lazy and you don't work hard enough." But of course that's not what she's saying at all, because the French aren't raised with those same values being forced at them. They value things that actually matter, like food and family. Go figure.

To go off topic for a minute, it reminds me of the other night when she asked me why I don't eat very much butter (because I can't bring myself to put as huge of a slab of it as she does on my plate when we have dinner). Because people in my country come at me from all angles telling me that butter is bad, of course! We're all a bunch of crazies on the other side of the ocean. She also likes to talk to her friends on the phone right outside my door so I can hear her joking to them about how I "don't eat anything". If eating the way I have been constitutes "not eating," I think I'm in trouble!

Another thing I notice is that, just like in the situation I mentioned above, she's always asking me about when I lived with my parents. Did I help my mom in the kitchen? Did I help cook? Etc. Sometimes I want to shout, "I've lived on my own for three years! I know how to take care of myself!" But I don't, because it's irrelevant and doesn't matter. Even if I interpret her words as telling me I don't know how to take care of myself, I know that's not really what she's saying.

I didn't mean for this to turn into some skewed commentary on cultural values, its just something I've noticed. Something that I've noticed many other times in my life as well, when dealing with people who were raised in a different culture from my own.

Really, I just need to write out the Four Agreements and stick them on my wall by my bed, where I have them at home...

The Four Agreements
1 - Keep your word impeccable
2 -Don't take things personally
3 - Don't make assumptions
4 - Always do your best